If you find yourself making your dating process a routine, there are a few things you can do to avoid this.
This may sound like a no-brainer, but you would be surprised at how many people do not follow this rule.
1. Don’t rely on your date for transportation
One way to avoid making your dating process a routine is by not relying on your date for transportation. It’s a good idea to tell a friend where you’re going and when, and then arrange for a friend to text or call you partway through the date if you need to get home. This can be especially important if you have little ones, and will allow you to leave when it’s time to go home without worrying about them being left behind. You should also make sure to have a backup sitter in case you are unable to watch your little ones yourself. This will also help you to stay committed to the date, rather than feeling like you’re ghosting your date by not showing up when you said you would.
2. Don’t meet in a public place
When it comes to dating, you don’t want to make it a routine where you meet your date at home or in the workplace. This could lead to awkward moments or leave you feeling trapped if things go sour. That’s why you should always meet in a public place, like a coffee shop or restaurant with plenty of people around. This will help you feel more comfortable, and you can avoid making the first date a repeat performance if it doesn’t work out.
In addition, the best places to meet are those with long lines. That way, you can get a chance to talk to someone before the rest of the crowd. Whether it’s at a grocery store or a park, be willing to wait and get as close to other people as possible to increase your chances of meeting someone.
3. Don’t overshare
One way to avoid making your dating process a routine is by not oversharing. Whether you’re telling strangers intimate personal details or monologuing to your colleagues, oversharing can be a socially dangerous habit.
There are many reasons why people overshare, from low self-esteem to unconscious attention-seeking. Knowing why you’re oversharing will help you stop.
Oversharing may also be a sign of mental health issues such as ADHD or BPD, which can make it difficult to read social cues and realize you’re sharing too much.
If you have a serious issue with oversharing, it’s always a good idea to seek professional support. Whether in person or online, a therapist can help you explore your root issues and build healthy coping mechanisms to avoid oversharing in the future.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask questions
When you’re out on a date, it’s natural to want to get to know your date as quickly and as thoroughly as possible. But asking too many questions can start to feel like a routine and could make you come across as nagging or desperate, which isn’t the kind of image you want to portray when meeting someone new.
Experts say that one way to avoid making your dating process a routine is by skipping any questions that might feel awkward or invasive. These can include topics that are uncomfortable for the person you’re talking to, or questions about information that they might want to keep private.
5. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
Vulnerability can seem like a weakness, but it’s actually essential to a healthy relationship. Without it, you won’t develop the trust and intimacy that can lead to a long-term relationship.
In a relationship, vulnerability looks like staying open to sharing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs with someone. It means remaining comfortable and safe enough to talk about your past, and it could also mean telling them about your fears and anxieties.
If you’re afraid of being vulnerable, you may be dealing with a fear of rejection or abandonment. It can also be a result of childhood experiences, such as feeling constantly talked down to by your parents.